w e l l ~ B L O G ~ t o ~ y o u ~ t o o !

12 January 2003
 
So I'm bored. When is that new? Not really. I had some mindblowing thoughts to write about here, but at the moment they have gone away from me. That's not too surprising considering. Usually I get deep thoughts when listening to NPR which is kind of to be expected because it isn't mindless radio. But I think my deep thoughts were about something that was not inspired by NPR only I can't remember what it was. I think it might have been about relationships and friendships and whatnot. About being a doormat and being a victim and making a choice not to be that way anymore. Making a choice to stand up for yourself and say "hey" I don't need to sit here and take this. And not do it in a violent way either.

But like most things, you can only tell someone for so long to stop being a doormat and to take responsibility because it has to be a decision you come to all your own. There is a certain amount of light-headedness when you make that choice to step out of someone else's shadow. And sometimes, a certain amount of shame too. Shame in how you treated people when you were being the bobble-headed sycophant for whomever. And you have to face that shame . It makes me glad I have the friends I do. I can't put links up to them becaue none of them really have websites. Sometimes, you just stumble into a great group of people. You don't set out to make friends with them or to cultivate them for whatever purpose. It just happens. All of a sudden, it comes to you and you realize they are a group of people you would trust forever. True, you may have snit-fits and other terrible things, becasue it always happens. Sometimes, you'll get mad and upset at each other. But they're there.

On a completely different note. I went to Wegmans and Target and got me some new furniture for my room. A "entertainment stand" and a lamp. Of course, my entertainment stand is not being used for a tv/vcr etc. It's storing my printer and my music books and the aforementioneld lamp. It was just time for a change, I think. And a section of my floor saw the vacuum for the first time in a long time. I still have hordes of stuff to organize, but I can only work a little at a time. Sometimes, I hate fighting entropy.

But anyways, I have a package to mail tomorrow. Susie knows who it's being sent to. It means that I'll have to trek across campus tomorrow during lunch to get to the post office, but I think it will be worth it. Just to know I'm spreading joy and cookiness everywhere. :) I also have been an absolute Tolkien geek the past few nights. I've been making a family tree for the Silmarillion. For those of you who don't follow the Lord of the Rings, the Silmarillion is the creation story for the universe, and to keep the people straight, there are some geneological trees in the back. The thing you don't realize is how everyone is related until you get them all on one--which is what I'm doing. I think after all this work I may turn it into a freaking wallpaper, just to keep it with me always.

So that's it from here... not much else is going on. I have to go make dinner soon.

Liz the Mischievous renovated @ 18:08